It’s Friday evening and I am sitting on my couch. Letty is sleeping peacefully next to me on the floor. Most of the time I don’t mind being alone, I even enjoy it. I just cuddle up in front of the TV and watch a movie. One my husband would never watch. Romantic and cheesy. Or I turn on the music, read- or spill all my feelings with acrylic colour on a canvas. But not tonight. Tonight is one of those nights. One of those nights where I miss my home.
I am thinking of my grandmother. I miss having a cup of tea with her whilst listing to her gossiping about the people in my hometown. Even though listening to her can be quite depressing sometimes since she just tells me who died in the past few weeks and who got sick. But still. She always makes this yummy rose hip tea so it was worth it.
This stupid article
It takes time to get used to being away from your family and friends. Life changes drastically. Your body and your soul need to adjust to the new situation. The first couple of years were especially difficult for my family and I. They had many doubts and they were hurt because of the decisions I made. But I can’t blame them. I was the one who choose to leave everything behind, to leave them. Oh man, did I feel guilty for that. I still do sometimes.
Because of that I searched the internet (I always ask Google for advice) and found an article where the author described a similar situation I was in. I can’t remember the title but it was about travellers being apart from their loved ones. He said if you have doubts and feel guilty you should not live abroad. It means you are not able to handle the pressure and you will never be happy. Well, that didn’t help! I thought that I was doing the right thing and that this was the life I wanted. But what if I am not meant to live abroad after all? Because of this article, I doubted my life choices and my own ability to follow through. How stupid, eh?
Big life changes have a deep impact
Today I know this author was wrong! I would even go so far as to say that he doesn’t know what he is talking about. You can’t just say that every person who is 5 feet tall can’t jump further than 6 feet. Everyone is different and everyone deals different with life changes. Some people are able to just let go and some people are not. Some expats don’t mind being away from their friends and families for a long period of time (or maybe forever). They don’t feel the guilt slowly rising up every time their families get upset. But there are also people like me. People who feel home sick. I miss my family every day. But that doesn’t mean I am not strong enough to live the life I love. It just means I need a bit longer to adjust to the new situation I am in.
Big life changes can have a deep impact. You don’t have to move to a different country to know that. Maybe you are quitting your job or retiring. Maybe you are expecting a baby. Don’t pretend it’s not a big deal. Take some time out for yourself. I mean just you. Take your favourite book and relax in front of the fire place. Light some candles and enjoy a warm bath. Let your thoughts go wild whilst you are on a walk. No one expects you to be perfect. Give yourself the time and space to learn to deal with the new situation. It will make you stronger and not the other way around.
Be confident. Be brave. Be you.